Quiet Longing by L.H. Cosway

Author:L.H. Cosway [Cosway, L.H.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2024-10-29T00:00:00+00:00

20.

Rhys

Even though I’d been aware of Charli’s impending arrival for a while, it had somehow escaped me that she’d be landing in Dublin this week. Work had been busy, and with everything going on between my ex-fiancée, Stephanie, and me, I’d lost track of things.

My engagement to the woman I’d been seeing for the last two years had been called off—on Christmas morning, no less—so I gave myself some slack for not being completely on top of things.

As far as everyone was concerned, calling off the wedding was a mutual decision, but it hadn’t been. The decision was mine and mine alone. Since we both still worked for the Balfes and shared many colleagues and friends, to allow Steph to save face, I’d agreed to tell everyone it was mutual. That we’d realised we weren’t compatible and didn’t want the same things out of life.

This was all was true, but it wasn’t the whole reason I’d called things off. Far from it.

It had started out with an argument about the wedding day itself. I’d told Stephanie I was going to ask my cousin, Shay, to be my best man. She’d gone strangely quiet after that, and a little while later, she’d approached me, sweetly suggesting Derek might be upset by me choosing Shay over him since we’d been best friends since we were kids.

I told her Derek wouldn’t give a rat’s arse about being best man, and that after his divorce, he was cynical about marriage and weddings in general. I knew for a fact that even attending would be a pain for Derek, but Steph kept on insisting that choosing my cousin over my best friend was rude and could cause a rift.

She just wouldn’t let the whole thing drop until I’d grown suspicious that there was more to it. So, I’d asked her outright if she had a problem with Shay. She’d finally expressed her worry that it would ruin the speeches at the reception since Shay was mute and couldn’t give a regular speech. I’d countered that we’d hire a sign language interpreter, and it would all be fine. After this, she’d thrown a fit and yelled at me, saying I was trying to ruin her big day.

Note she said hers and not ours.

At that moment, I’d seen everything that was wrong with our engagement and how poorly matched we were. I’d realised with startling clarity that I couldn’t marry her. I couldn’t marry a woman who didn’t want my cousin—someone I was closest to in the world—to be my best man because his disability might make her wedding day less shiny and glamorous. She couldn’t bear the thought of him signing his speech, and it was abhorrent to me. It had made all the little niggling irritations I’d had about her, all the signs that deep down she was a materialistic, shallow human being come to blaring light. I’d been too blinded by her beauty and by how she’d fawned over me to see the truth.

Steph was a snob, not to mention ableist, and it made me sick to my stomach.

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